Space Wordsmith Gifts

'Spotting the jacal in the rille left him roupy.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Shakespeare Ave

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

You trip on it, you buy it.

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

Bell Hop

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'