Woofing Wordsmith Gifts

'The days of rewarding me with mere pats on the head are over.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Cut Price

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'