Indie Wordsmith Gifts

Rebellious Typewriters

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Best Seller

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Mother Goose's Haiku

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

A Poet

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

You trip on it, you buy it.

'He never listened to his mother!'

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Bell Hop