Musical Wordsmith Gifts

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Best Seller

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Mother Goose's Haiku

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Sharp Eyes

You trip on it, you buy it.

Shakespeare Ave

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."