Lyrical Wordsmith Gifts

Dolores O'Riordan

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I think you're ace

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

Sharp Eyes

You trip on it, you buy it.