Humorous Wordsmith Gifts

Short Pants

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

A Poet

You trip on it, you buy it.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'He never listened to his mother!'

Shakespeare Ave

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."