Clever Wordsmith Gifts

'Let's get outta here. This place is nothin' but treble.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Mother Goose's Haiku

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

You trip on it, you buy it.

A Poet

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'He never listened to his mother!'

Shakespeare Ave

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."