Clever Wordsmith Gifts

'Let's get outta here. This place is nothin' but treble.'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Best Seller

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Mother Goose's Haiku

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Sharp Eyes

Shakespeare Ave

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

You trip on it, you buy it.

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."