Whimsical Wordsmith Gifts

Dog Quiz

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

Drugs War Poet

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

Reader's Block

"I ask you - Wolly and Doodle! What sort of names are they?"

'Hey dooba dooba, the cat and the...nah, this isn't working for me. Can you play the fiddle?'

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

"There was a pig in a bright pink wig. . ."

Participants in the Poetry Writing Workshop imagine that they are imaginary persons in a situation of their own imagination.

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."

James Russell Lowell

Book and fan

"What I don't, like, get is how she, like, figured out I was, like, having an affair with, like the babysitter."

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a... puppet? Strumpet? Trumpet? Musket, crumpet... I'm the worst children's author ever." Mother Goose struggles...

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

"Very nice work indeed. You've captured a profound sense of provenance; 
the excrement and its excreter in an ever-rolling circle of life.

"

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

Hey, where I go, my family goes. Why the dish didn

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Sorry, I can't reveal my sorcerers. Press. Press. Press.

Know your Bluegrass Instruments

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'They call me 'Fluffy', but my real name is 'Fang'!'

'I swear, if he recites 'Trees' once more, I'm going to drop all my chestnuts on him!'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"