Wordsmith In Whimsy Gifts

Eugene Ionesco.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Cat Towels

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Accountant Manqué

Shakespeare Ave

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'He never listened to his mother!'

Sharp Eyes

You trip on it, you buy it.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."