Wordsmith With A Wink Gifts

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Cat Towels

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Swing me with your words."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

Books vs mobile phones

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

You trip on it, you buy it.

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Male On Sunday

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

Rudyard Kipling

Bell Hop

Wussapalooka

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Emily Dickinson

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.