Wordsmith Extraordinaire Gifts

'Seven 'provided', thirteen 'buts' and twenty seven 'ifs' - this is the best stockmarket forecast to clients I've ever read.'

"I thought it might make your writing more profound."

"The most useful course I've ever done was the "Creative Writing" course I did as a kid: It's been invaluable in writing Grant Applications..."

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

"...and so I left Wall Street and made a killing in poetry."

Wordplay: Big Society.

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, manuscript writer

Graham Greene.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

First Novels.

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

Reading my Critics

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Cut Price

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes