Wordsmith Enthusiast Gifts

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

Kurt Vonnegut

'Hello, AA? I'd like to report a minor blip in my otherwise excellent road safety record.'

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

Paul Scott

Michael Frayn

"And if anyone's looking for your new book, it's already in the fifty percent off bin."

'Mom...I need you to ghost write my English Essay.'

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

'We believe this would work better as a tweet.'

Edna O'Brien

Rudyard Kipling

Saul Bellow

'Camilo José Cela'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

Chinese kids are much smarter than we are! They just score well on tests. They're grinds. We're creative! We learn to express ourselves! West Fester High School. We'd better learn to express ourselves in Chinese!

Frank and Ernest's Amended Sayings. "Everything comes to he who waits..." "But it will be used!"

"It was a day EXACTLY like every other day."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

"She's been so creative lately."

Edgar Allen Poe

First Novels.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."