Wordsmith In Whimsy T-Shirts

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Accountant Manqué

You trip on it, you buy it.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

'He never listened to his mother!'

Shakespeare Ave

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Will Self deprecation