Wordsmith At Heart T-Shirts

Reading my Critics

'I don't want you as my mentor no more.' 'You NO LONGER want me as your mentor.'

"People just don't understand me!"

'I'm a writer. Boilerplate.'

'Me? Actually I'm a writer. . . Well, er, at the moment it's mainly job applications.'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

When English Majors have relationship problems.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"Swing me with your words."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Books vs mobile phones

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

Rudyard Kipling

Emily Dickinson

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky

"I guess the next time someone asks if I need something spelled out for me, the answer will be yes."

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

English major will work for food.

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

'I can't stand the first page...so black and white!'

Michael Frayn

"...and so I left Wall Street and made a killing in poetry."

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

Edna O'Brien

"Do you have any advice for me? I'm writing a children's book."