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Emily Dickinson

Wussapalooka

The only high definition in Ernie's house is in the dictionary on the top shelf. (Published originally on June 6, 2008.)

You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.

Gonzalo Torrente Ballester

The Poet and Jingle Laureates' Office.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Do me next."

Edgar Allen Poe

Reading my Critics

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Backfire

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Cut Price

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket