Wordsmith With Wanderlust T-Shirts

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"Swing me with your words."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Accountant Manqué

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

Books vs mobile phones

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

Wussapalooka

Rudyard Kipling

John takes a personivacation.

Emily Dickinson

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

Ernie, what's a seven-letter phrase for "sadistic behavior"? Beats me.

Saul Bellow

Moby Dick by Herman Melville. Reader's Block.

"I guess the next time someone asks if I need something spelled out for me, the answer will be yes."

Chinese kids are much smarter than we are! They just score well on tests. They're grinds. We're creative! We learn to express ourselves! West Fester High School. We'd better learn to express ourselves in Chinese!

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Anna Burns

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

English major will work for food.

'I can't stand the first page...so black and white!'