Office Wordsmith Gifts

"I don't think we want to be talking to the staff about 'redundancies'...It's such a harsh term, it would only cause panic!"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

Edgar Allen Poe

"She's been so creative lately."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Backfire

Cut Price

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.