Techy Wordsmith Gifts

ROTFL...Rolling on the floor laughing.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

Best Seller

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Mother Goose's Haiku

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Shakespeare Ave

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

A Poet

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Computer Music

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

You trip on it, you buy it.

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Bell Hop