Soil Aficionado Gifts

"Oh, boy! My favorite! plotting soil!"

'It's great to get back to the soil, sometimes.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'That plant food really works!'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

Pull the udder one

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Beware of the Lawn

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

How Gary got his groove back.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'