Soil Science Fan Gifts

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Tallyho!"

Think Tank

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Yoyo sheep

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

'It was great seeing you again Terry, we must do wildebeest sometime.'

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

"Aww...he's got his father's eyes....Hang on...Those really are his father's eyes!!"

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

tiger strangling snakes

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."