Soil Enthusiast Gifts

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

Gardening Tips - allow worms to drag unwanted organic matter deep into the soil

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

SOIL BANK: 'Loam dept...clay, sand & gravel'.

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

Gardening: New Year's Resolution.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

I'm looking for a job?

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

"We're farmers. We live off what's left of the land."

"Millions of acres of farmland are taken out of production every year...a lot of them by me."

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

'That plant food really works!'

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

How Glaciations Begin

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"I know it is of this earth...."

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'It says here that erosion moves soil from one place to another. I thought that was our job.'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'