Soil Novice Gifts

Gardening for Beginners

"First time pruning?"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Today we learned to count to one.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'That plant food really works!'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

'He may have green fingers, but he's got dirty finger nails!'

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

I'm looking for a job?

'So this is a kitchen!'

"No, your other, other, other, other, other, other, other left."

The not-so-living wall

"Oh, boy! My favorite! plotting soil!"

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer