Stone Age Soil Enthusiast Gifts

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

The first car accident.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Early accounting scandals.

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

Used wheels

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"Too much club."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

The first Dermatologist.

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

Caveman and prostitute drinking at bar talking about the world's oldest profession - hitting a guy in the head with a rock.

Unfinished Masterpiece.

'Is the fire included?'

'I invented the wheel, and to protect it, I invented the club.'

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

The first art critic

'If you worked on inventing fire instead of that round thing, you wouldn't have to eat cold cuts.'