Soil Aficionado T-Shirts

"Oh, boy! My favorite! plotting soil!"

'It's great to get back to the soil, sometimes.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'That plant food really works!'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

Pull the udder one

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Beware of the Lawn

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

How Gary got his groove back.

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Sheds

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'