Soda Appreciation Gifts

'A cheeky red?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Alpha Seltzer

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Pasta

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

Recycling bottle bank.

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Red Wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

You are simply the Greatest

Wino Appreciation Group

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'I like the look of the sherry trifle.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."