Soda Admirer Gifts

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"You call this ice?"

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

A feast in a hospital bed.

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

Energy Drinks

Tepid Beer - Going out of Beer.

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

'I can lick any man in the house!'

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

"You'll know when I've had enough. You'll have to wipe up the mess."

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."