Soda Admirer Gifts

Soda $1.00. You drive a hard bargain.

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"You call this ice?"

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Coca-Cola Inc: 'Gentlemen, is it too late to be bailed out for 'NEW' Coke?'

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

"Sure, most men lead lives of quiet desperation, but I can fly."

I've been ordering a diet coke here every day for the last year. Do you admit that? Um

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

The screaming fart.

A feast in a hospital bed.

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

Tepid Beer - Going out of Beer.

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

Energy Drinks

'I can lick any man in the house!'

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"You'll know when I've had enough. You'll have to wipe up the mess."

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."