Socially Distanced Diner Gifts

Freedom From Family

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

The new normal

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Coronavirus Romance

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

Valentines Love Hearts - Covid 19 edition.

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

Football fans in corona times

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Guac-A-Mole"

Man eating his meal with his feet.

I've been having very strange dreams lately, but they're no match for how bizarre waking hours life has seemed.

"You need a hobby."

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

"Tell you what, just tweet me your order when you're ready."