Soccer Match Strategist Pillows

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

Football Bomb

"Jim was a model Dad".