Soccer Strategist Pillows

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Listen, they've scored five straight goals. It's nothing personal, but I think we need someone with limbs playing goalie.'

Target practice board in the shape of a football referee.

'Look at him tackling bribery and corruption charges!'

"Hey! Not fair!"

'I tried to shrug off my foot injury and dislocated my shoulders!'

'These military teams really take their defence seriously...!'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Excuse me could we concentrate on the seminar please.'

Free kick to us...er I mean, to Rovers.

Woman with CS Gas while man watches football - "This is for if there's any crowd trouble."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Footballing Archer

'During these qualifiers there's to be no late nights and no sex...not even with your wives.'

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Red card

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'These military teams really take their defence seriously...!'

'What does United have to do to win the championship?' - 'Win nine out of their last four matches.'

Mole saving a goal.

'It's the chairmans idea to get us out of our financial difficulties.'

Football coaches get up to mischief

"I feel sick as an English Coach."

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

"I want to know if there's any truth to these kickback charges."

Pep Guardiola

Wife puts a line of vanishing foam down the middle of the bed.

Football referee who dropped all his cards.

Footballer About to Take a Penalty With Camera Crew In Front of Goal.

Diego Armando Maradona, 1960-2020

Analog Trolls

''Socker' on the brain.'