Soccer Strategy Buff Pillows

James Ward-Prowse

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Carlo Ancelotti

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Jim was a model Dad".

Football anagrams: Victoria do rule (Answer: Olivier Dacourt)

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

Praying for a goal assist.

Football Bomb

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Alex Ferguson

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."