Soccer Buff Pillows

Football Applause

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

Decapitation on the football pitch.

Golfing Boss

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Centaur Forward

Vendor selling testosterone.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

Watching the football.

Men can show their emotions!

Football

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."