Soccer Squad Enthusiast Pillows

"Look - after paying eight million quid for you, we couldn't afford a new strip."

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Funky Facts: Football.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Centaur Forward

Egyptian Football

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

Football