Soccer Admirer Pillows

Dog and hedgehog playing football.

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Men can show their emotions!

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

Football