Soccer Lovers Pillows

Football Time.

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Raheem Sterling

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Egyptian Football

'I think I've scored.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Centaur Forward

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.