Worldly Soccer Lover Pillows

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

'I think I've scored.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Football