Soccer Supporter Pillows

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'I'll bet you would hear everything I say if I were a sports announcer.'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

The corner

"I've gone off Newcastle- can I have a Man Utd kit mum."

"I know it's just a game, sweetie, but our entire gender's political survival hinges on the outcome."

'Billy, your mom's hassling the referee again!'

Jose Mourinho Caricature.

Footballers - Denis Berkamp

Fat kids in football T-shirts, Rooney and Ronaldo. Man says: 'It's good for kids to have sport role models.'

"Your husband has been diagnosed with 'football fever.' It's a common illness this time of year."

Victim support

"You know, if it wasn't for the players, we'd have a good team."

Wordilly Durdillies - General de goalie

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Soccer Uniforms

'And how were our team doing before your foot slipped?'

"I'm afraid we've done all we can for you, so we're off to the match."

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

Football fan playing golf.

"This is the new pre-season, post game, after lunch but before 4 PM kit!"

Steven Gerrard

'Lucky they've got a glazer'.

Hooligans at Home

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

'Well you can never be sure, but my guess would be that they lost!'

'Thank goodness. . . I thought I was never going to be sent off!'

'Don't bother with the whole squad,Rooney and co. will suffice.'

"Football world cup? Bah! I don't care about football."

Germany-France: Pre-match banter

Your whole team rode together? Yeah, it's a "many" van!

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.

"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"