Soccer Supporter Pillows

'I'll bet you would hear everything I say if I were a sports announcer.'

"I know it's just a game, sweetie, but our entire gender's political survival hinges on the outcome."

The corner

Fat kids in football T-shirts, Rooney and Ronaldo. Man says: 'It's good for kids to have sport role models.'

'Billy, your mom's hassling the referee again!'

"Your husband has been diagnosed with 'football fever.' It's a common illness this time of year."

"You know, if it wasn't for the players, we'd have a good team."

Wordilly Durdillies - General de goalie

Victim support

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"

"It's coming home but not to our home."

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.

Football

'Thank goodness. . . I thought I was never going to be sent off!'

'Well you can never be sure, but my guess would be that they lost!'

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Hooligans at Home

'Soccer Mom's Diner.'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

"This is the new pre-season, post game, after lunch but before 4 PM kit!"

Football anthem: 'The Saints go marching in.'

Football fan playing golf.

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

"I'm afraid we've done all we can for you, so we're off to the match."

Soccer Uniforms

"I'm afraid Terry won't be going to the match this afternoon."

'I'm a stay-at-home soccer mother.'

Big Girl's Blouse: Football Shirts in Now!

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

"Congratulations-it's a hat trick!"

Suicide swords for the England football team.