Football Strategy Buff Pillows

'Jameis Winston is going over to the sideline, I'm not sure if he's been suspended again, or just broke a chin strap."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

Carlo Ancelotti

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Football anagrams: Victoria do rule (Answer: Olivier Dacourt)

"Jim was a model Dad".

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

Football Bomb

Praying for a goal assist.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

Alex Ferguson

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."