Football Strategist Pillows

"Forget about the game. There's treasure here."

'Vice will cover the front. Hank will disarm the security guard. Allen and I will grab the cash...'

Football math: 57% + 53% = : 'This is what I expect from every player, every play!'

New Player

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

The Other Cooperstown

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I love fast break business success."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."