Soccer Buff Gifts

Football Applause

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

Harry Redknapp

Decapitation on the football pitch.

Fly Football

Golfing Boss

Bowled over again!

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Egyptian Football

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

Vendor selling testosterone.

Centaur Forward

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

Watching the football.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'