Soccer Tactics Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

Fly Football

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Mohamed Salah

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

Football

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

Men can show their emotions!