Soccer Tactics Lover Pillows

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

The commentators want to run the officials...

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

Evolution

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"Looks like Rick's scored."

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

Football Pudding

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'If you don't want to see the disgusting spitting, look away now'

"No. I can still see you."

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

Football crazy

'It's a tough world, son. You inflate. You get kicked around all your life. Then one day - bam! You deflate.'

'I like that guy. He gets a splitting headache, but instead of quitting, he calls time out, the athletic trainer tapes him up, and he gets right back in the game.'

'Now remember the ones in white shirts are on our side.'

Football player in penalty line up holds other players willy

Julen Lopetegui Agote

'What a wonderful memorable day...Chelsea 2-Arsenal 0.'

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager, you get paid a huge amount to be a catastrophic failure, then you get an humongous pile of cash when they make you redundant before you go somewhere else to start over again."