Soccer Tactics Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Men can show their emotions!

Football

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).