Soccer Strategy Enthusiast Gifts

'How much did you pay for that new striker?'

Dirty football player attempts to deceive referee.

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager, you get paid a huge amount to be a catastrophic failure, then you get an humongous pile of cash when they make you redundant before you go somewhere else to start over again."

Fly Football

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Mohamed Salah

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

Football

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Men can show their emotions!

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor