Soccer Strategy Enthusiast Gifts

'How much did you pay for that new striker?'

Dirty football player attempts to deceive referee.

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager, you get paid a huge amount to be a catastrophic failure, then you get an humongous pile of cash when they make you redundant before you go somewhere else to start over again."

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

Football

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

Men can show their emotions!

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Teenage Angst.

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"