Soccer Match Strategist Gifts

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

Carlo Ancelotti

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Praying for a goal assist.

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"Jim was a model Dad".

Football Bomb

Jurgen Klopp Caricature