Soccer Field Strategist Gifts

Plane crash on football pitch.

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

The Other Cooperstown

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"I love fast break business success."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"