Soccer Sideline Strategist Gifts

'If I could pick as many winners as he picks balls out of net - I'd be a rich man.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

The Other Cooperstown

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"I love fast break business success."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."