Soccer-loving Bankers Gifts

'Would you care to settle the matter of your loan with a penalty shoot-out?'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Born to raise interest rates.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

I have a dream.

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

Eye Bank.

Unleashing the dogs of regulation.

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...

"Are you going to believe me or a bunch of hysterical bank tellers?"

"You want fries with that? Oops... that's my other job."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

Thumbs Up Banker

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'Just because my husband works in a bank, it does not mean to say he's a fat-cat...!'

Worldwide Global International Bank: 'Hey, man, it's Bank of America! They want to merge with us!'

'I'm conducting my own stress test!'

HSBC Scandal

Take a train, take a bus, take a plane, don't make a fuss...

'No can do, pal.'

Extreme Accounting!

'Jason feels insecure if he's too far from his money... but electronic bank statements have cured that!'

'You asked for your bank account balance...it just went 'poof' and dripped down to zero!'

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

First savings & bone.

'It's Mr Nutkin Sir, he'd like to withdraw the contents of his safety deposit box. Same as last year.'

'I was a bank clerk, and one day I charged the King $17.50 for a bounced check.'

FIRST NATIONAL, TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

Theatre football.

'I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid you're overdrawn.'

"Lately our focus has been trending away from people who want to borrow our money."

'I see you have no collateral.'

'I said... oh, forget it!'

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'