Banking Aficionados Gifts

'I see you have no collateral.'

Take a train, take a bus, take a plane, don't make a fuss...

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Payback Time

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

Acme Corp - In business since 1927 BG. 'The 'BG' stands for 'Before Greenspan'.'

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"It covers up all the debt."

Advent Calender.

Paul Wolfowitz.

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

I have a dream.

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'When I grow up I want to be a bank.'

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Bank Checking and Savings. How about some clouds on your scenic checks since they never seem to clear anyway?

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'This is your third withdrawal this week... how about a little deposit once in a while?'

Security/Savings