Banking Enthusiasts Gifts

Romeo and Juliet at the investment bank.

'Only you could do that to an ATM!'

TELLER, 'You're not just a number to us, sir -- there's a whole bunch of hypens and letters, too.'

'I know you didn't actually transact any business, but we do have a $2.00 cover charge.'

High Energy Accounts Only

'Sorry, unlike the Tooth Fairy, we don't give credit lines for lose teeth.'

'Bad dog!'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

Sperm bank night deposit.

'Four dollars and thirty-two cents? — That's your idea of a deposit?'

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

Thank you for banking with us online. Please be patient. All our tellers are busy with other customers.

"It's a new approach to banking."

"If they're going to try and take more of my money on taxes have a good night to move abroad I'm not paying my taxes somewhere else!"

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

Payback Time

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

Advent Calender.

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

I have a dream.

Paul Wolfowitz.

"It covers up all the debt."

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.