Bank Enthusiasts Gifts

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

"What's a debenture?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

Payback Time

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"It covers up all the debt."

Acme Corp - In business since 1927 BG. 'The 'BG' stands for 'Before Greenspan'.'

Paul Wolfowitz.

I have a dream.

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'When I grow up I want to be a bank.'

All Major Cash Honored.

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

Security/Savings

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Bank Checking and Savings. How about some clouds on your scenic checks since they never seem to clear anyway?

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

'This is your third withdrawal this week... how about a little deposit once in a while?'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'

Piggy Banks/Cash Cows/Free Chicken Account.